Gap

[nowshakeit]

Pairing: Sakurai Sho x Matsumoto Jun

Rating: G

Genre: Angst

Disclaimer: I don't own Sakurai Sho and Matsumoto Jun (if I do I would have gone doing things with them, not writing fictional stories about them, no?). This is fictional. I am delusional.

Length/Word Count: One-shot/988 words.
Beta:gurajiorasu

Notes: A new fic! While my drafts are still a lot! Because I'm a procrastinator like that. LOL. Anywaaaay, I really have no idea how the interview was conducted, so let's just assume that they're all together in a room with the interviewer. Maybe facing a round table? :p
Notes 2: Translation was taken from yun_miyake@lj here. ♥

It's funny. How you manage to pull out those perfected figures. How you can have completely different faces when you're reading news for people to see, when you're hosting a show, and when you're on concert rehearsals practicing the moves. It's almost impossible not to stare in amazement on you all day. Almost impossible not to take it all in, keep it in the very back of my mind since it would change in no time.

One thing I'm really concerned about, you know, is how you finally managed to transform yourself completely. To actually enclose the real you beneath all those personalities you have carefully tailored over the years. Made me got lost somewhere in the middle and left me with no choice but pulling myself away back then, you know.

Honestly? I hate this. I hate not being able to ever see the real you anymore. I understand that this is the only way, but sometimes I just want to be possessive and have you all by myself. Fuck all those other things, having you in my life should be more than enough. But well, we both know better that it's nowhere near possible.

After all these years, though, there's only one thing I really want. Something that’s really enticing and keeps drawing me in. That is to get in between that gap and really see what's inside. See the real you inside.

---

"So, Matsumoto san, what do you think about Sakurai san?"

Jun looked up to the interviewer with a haze. Seemed like he was distracted and the interviewer just brought him to the present again, Sho mulled. He sat there nervously, wondering what answer Jun would be giving to the question. After all, it’s Jun's opinion that always matters the most for him.

"His biggest charm is the gap," Jun paused a little before continuing, "you see, in ‘NEWS ZERO’ he has a caster aura and we feel relieve by seeing him there. When the five of us gathered, he brings another aura. In our variety shows, he’s the one who become the host and as an artist – he writes rap lyrics," another pause, almost looked like he was considering about his next words, before he finally added, "well in short, he sure possesses many elements."

"Ah, I see," the interviewer responded.

Maybe Sho was just assuming it in his head when he saw Jun’s face right after the interviewer said the last sentence. He actually saw a bitter smile plastered on Jun’s face. His face screamed longing all the way but Sho wasn’t really sure because when he looked around to everyone else, they didn’t show any sign that they noticed anything, and when Sho turned his gaze back to Jun’s face, the vague expression had already gone.

When the interviewer asked the next question, it was Sho’s turn to be snapped out of his own thoughts.

---

"Matsujun!" Sho tried to speed his pace up to catch up with Jun’s fast steps.

"Uhn?" Jun distractedly answered without slowing his pace.

"I was surprised. I didn't expect you'll say something like that about me," Sho said in between his faint panting, finally caught up with Jun’s speed. True, he was a bit taken aback by that answer back then, and even more by Jun’s expression after that, so he decided to just go straight away and ask the person himself.

"Well that's true. And that’s the thing people will first notice about you, right?" Jun snickered but stop abruptly, which Sho found himself a slightest bit disappointed. It’s not every day that you could hear Matsumoto Jun snickers.

"Yea I guess you're right," Sho commented on that. He was still wondering what to say about that and how to actually make Jun talks about that, he happened to just nod his head distractedly. Which later he regretted because he could feel Jun’s eyes were darting on him as he did so, and those eyes were giving out sad and annoyed aura. At least that’s what Sho felt.

"How's the drama filming going, Sho san?" There goes another special power of Matsumoto Jun, to change the topic completely and make whomever he was talking to unable to do anything but to respond to the new topic properly. Honestly? Sho didn’t like that. But he wasn’t immune to that weird ability so he also had to respond properly.

"I'm heading there after this, actually, wait, what time is it?" a quick glance to the mighty wristwatch, and, "ah I have to go now! Is it okay if I go first, Matsujun?"

Yet there was another thing Sakurai Sho hated from himself, to always feel that he had to do everything exactly as planned, and that every single millisecond is important.

"You know you never need to ask," Jun answered, voice as cold as before, but this time there was a hint of hurt. Sho kind of noticed it, but he had already caught up with his some-seconds-late schedule so he just grinned and walked faster to his car.

---

Another unfulfilling conversation. I was the one who changed the topic, true, but actually I hoped he would continue talking about that answer of mine. Or whatever else. Having him just went away like that wasn’t really what I had in mind.

I mean, we're already in the parking lot, there’s no need to rush to the car. It would only cut up seconds, if not milliseconds. Or maybe in the world of Sakurai Sho, every single millisecond is precious. Maybe that's what makes him able to keep his sanity intact. Maybe that's the real key to the gap.

Or maybe he just doesn't want me to get in between the gap once more. Maybe being alone with me can disturb his balance. Maybe the answer I gave in the interview affect him somehow.

Yeah, right, Matsumoto Jun, you and your wishful thinking.

Comments

[inaudible-d.livejournal.com]

yes but this is just my wild imagination so I don't really know XD
thank you for reading and commenting! :D